I have been contemplating how or if to post this, so I apologize for the long silence and delay. Many of you may have already heard some details but here are some more.
My request for conditional use zoning was denied. It was denied on the technical fact that Clinton County requires twenty acres to operate a wedding venue and it seems the board did not find this property unique enough to grant the variance for that one item exception. The other needed variances did pass however, ironically. I think my failure was not understanding comprehensively how this process worked and assuming others knew and loved this house as much as I did. I do not do politics well and apparently I did not make a compelling enough argument for the Tower House, and how special, I and most of you know it is. Not to mention, I was met with huge opposition that I’m pretty sure NO ONE expected to be as aggressive and combative as it was
As I stated in one of my very first posts I am not a fan of social media. It’s a double edge sword, and no matter what, someone is going to get cut. Anything can be twisted or taken out of context in order to support an opposing view and unfortunately that is what happened.
I reluctantly agreed to create a social media page for the Tower House in order to share the story of this house, and because so many people had reached out with excitement and encouragement for the property. I tried to be honest and true to myself and to everyone as I always do. But unfortunately, like all things, it only takes a few to twist your words and intentions to benefit their narrative. I will humbly admit I was naive. I genuinely thought that when I decided to open myself up to the risks of being public and out there on social media that the main negative feedback I was going to have to deal with was from the historical enthusiasts. I was prepared for them to tear me apart if I messed up any aspect of the preservation process of this structure; if I changed the wrong elements the wrong way or used the wrong techniques to historically and accurately restore this house. I never imagined I would be so attacked and have my words and intentions skewed from outsiders of our community who don’t even live here yet. But to their defense they had as much a right to object to my zoning requests as I had to request them. And ultimately the codes are in place in an attempt to be fair to everyone.
I do understand their concerns and if I had been given the chance would have loved to work out a compromise and work harmoniously with my neighbors. I was excited to offer discounted rates to my direct neighbors if they ever wanted to use the venue.
I don’t feel like being fake or acting to be higher than or more skilled than I am. I don’t live by, “fake it till you make it.” I know others do and that works for them. But I want to stay humble and honest, and I have no hesitancy about learning and accomplishing new things and admitting when I’m inexperienced and need guidance. I’m content to admit that I don’t know everything but have no qualms diving and figuring it out. Most of you closest to me know this is actually one of the few times I have ever failed. Failure is just not something I have accepted. If you work hard enough and are willing to adapt, some form of success is always in reach even if it looks different than what you set out to achieve. I did enjoy, however painfully, learning how council meetings and zoning codes happen and the processes involved. I have never been the applicant before and don’t really want to do so again. Honest review of my performance I think I did poorly. I’m not a lawyer or public speaker, I am first and foremost a mom and wife. I am secondly a real estate investor, property manager, landlord and occasionally even a general contractor. Whether that admission helps or hurts I don’t know and I don’t care. I am not going to hide who I am or what my priorities are in deception even if it means I don’t succeed this time. So if people want to use that against me to say I am unqualified that is their right and prerogative. It is too bad they will never get the opportunity to meet me. I love this community where we watch out for each other, work together, and call on each other to create things that can benefit all of us and improve our county. I have worked with so many amazing people around our community, and above all else, the people I have always worked with strive for compromise. I hope our new county members joining our community, as they build their dream homes and retirement homes, are met by that character quality of our town. I have tried not to turn their attacks into spite (I’m sure that statement itself may be interpreted as evil or skewed in some way because I’m sure they are still watching to see if I will continue the fight. ) I have tried hard not to take the harsh words and letters written about me, dragging me through mud in an attempt to prove my incompetence as personal. Even to the extent that during the zoning meeting I had to stifle my husband from going nuclear, as he was ready to defend the attacks against me. He read all twelve letters and packets written in opposition right before the meeting. I looked over his shoulder and skimmed. ( I have still not read them all completely and I’m not sure I ever will or can). I watched as his demeanor changed so drastically from his typical cool under pressure, professional executive self, to husband ready to die on the sword for his wife. Unfortunately that night I needed him to be former and he just couldn’t. I am touched by his emotions and honored by what I know he would have done and said to defend me. I know the extent he would have gone to had I not pinched his leg, held on to his shirt and begged him to stand down.
If there is anything spiteful to say it is this, and it is not necessarily meant to be spiteful, but it is an ugly truth about humanity. The saying that you don’t mess with people with money. It is true. I have contemplated if I should pursue the bed and breakfast only and not the wedding venue, or appeal the decision and continue to fight. I hesitate not only because I’m out there now and being watched, scrutinized and judged, but I wouldn’t have the financial means to fight the lawyers of my opposition that it seemed were on standby and unable to make it to that night’s meeting. Even if I did fight or had won, I do not want to operate constantly on defense or at odds with my neighbors. I don’t want to be neighbors and operate a business with people that won’t discuss and compromise or exist harmoniously. Perhaps I’m naive but I can be in this. I don’t have to exist in the proximity of people who come out, guns blazing, with their lynching party, prepared with legal council on retainer, if there would ever be any disagreements or perceived wrong doings across property lines.
This project was not a self advancing goal, if it had been, as I mentioned in one of my first blogs, the seller would not have sold to me in the first place. The intention of the previous seller and myself was to preserve and restore this piece of history. My goal was to share it with the community and everyone who has admired it over its 134 years. I had it for over three months before I figured out a way I could do just that and cover its overhead. I had hoped to honor the history of the house and its historic value. I had little placards started to be displayed around the house, that would tell the story of the house and its family. Those that visited could read and understand more of the architecture and building techniques used in the late nineteenth century and even more of the family that built it and that are still living in our community. Their support of this project has been so encouraging. I am so honored to have gotten to know some of the Underwood family and to learn about their family legacy. The well documented history and how progressive their morals and beliefs were in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century is nothing short of amazing. It is families and people like the Underwoods who made our country. I hoped to create a piece of living history to show a time before our entitled society. Before power tools and even running water, indoor toilets and appliances. When equality was still very much in question between genders and races. Of course you can spin it anyway you want so that our family stands to have financial gain. And whatever your moral beliefs are on profit, profit is a necessary outcome and a hopeful one. Finances are required to support any venture and extra funds above the operating costs are necessary in order for the operators to feed the family they are taking time away from to operate such a business. But honestly the business side of things after the renovations, was not really what I was looking forward to. It was never my dream to run a bed and breakfast or a wedding venue. The house had the story to tell and it screamed to be shared. The layout lent itself perfectly to bridal parties getting ready for their event and the property and location just seemed like a perfect fit to that function. However, my passion is and always has been strictly the renovation process.
So really part of me is glad it didn’t pass. I will restore the house, that’s the process I love, and create a space that some family can enjoy. And as much as I’m not typically sentimental and hearts and flowers are not my jam, part of me was excited to maybe renew my vows there, and to be the beginning to so many other families and couples story. As I have stated before and I will again, more for myself than anyone else, my kids are at a great stage, and working too much, for me, takes too much time from them. I will be 110 % present for my kids now instead of the 96.5 % I was during the prep for this project. And, maybe that’s why God redirected this project, maybe he saw the battle I would constantly have had to fight if I pushed forward. He knew how draining it would be of my time and resources, just to exist in the proximity to the neighbors that so aggressively stood against the project. So yes, I am disappointed and discouraged. All the intense leg work I put in over the last eight months feels a bit like a waste. I will do my best to look at it as another tool in my tool belt and an experience I have learned from and overcome. It saddens me that neighbors could not see past a compromise, or the county council members could not see the uniqueness in this property in order to allow it to be enjoyed by many. So now I’ll pivot, reroute the resources for a different end goal and move forward.
I will end with this. I am signing back off of social media. I feel it is too high a liability to remain on to share the process unfortunately. I forget it’s not everyone’s outlook to find the good and give benefit of the doubt. Typically when people have a personal one sided view they don’t take the time to consider the other angles before judging and acting. For that reason I don’t want to be out there anymore distracting my time and resources away from other more important things, and to protect the privacy of myself, my family and the future homeowners, whomever that may be.I truly hope they get off on a better foot with their neighbors than I did.
I sincerely appreciate, more than most of you will ever know, the support and excitement you shared with me about this project both on and off social media. And when it’s done I hope to have successfully brought it back to the beautiful, upstanding, high end single family home that it once was in 1886.
Tower House Ohio 